By Sharon Emephia
What has being a good Usher in a place of worship got to do with being a good wife? Or what has being an excellent Tenor vocalist got to do with being a good husband? Hearing a pastor say this, who has dealt with many cases in counseling, only opens your eyes, if they were blind (not physically though).
Long ago, all you needed to find a good wife or husband was to show up in a ‘place of worship’s, moreso if the person was a worker in the house of God then, it was a wrap.
Not so nowadays. Being a worker in the house, talking in tongues and even ‘talking the church talk”, isn’t enough. In relationships and marriages, it seems we are brought back to that old saying…Who nor go, nor know!
Mind you, it ought to be so, someone you met in the vineyard ought to be transformed.. IT OUGHT TO BE SO.
Another mystery we need to come to terms with, is how an amazing friend/sister/brother we introduced to someone as a good relationship match, can become a total heartache in the life of the other person, and even us cannot comprehend the change, or the things we’re hearing about that same awesome person we thought we knew so well.
Relationships seem to still be another great revealer of true personalities and characters, other than the word and spirit of God. It is one thing to be a good daughter or son to their pastor in church/a good friend, and another to be a good person with a good heart and conscience for a relationship. Many have found out this revelation painfully, else, how many members boldly tell their leaders about their weaknesses or not so pretty habits and attitudes? But the moment it’s time for a relationship, you start hearing Revelations like, “I am very stubborn o”, “No one is perfect”, “I have my bad sides, everyone has their bad sides”, and I can guarantee you, people in their place of worship only knows the side that’s an awesome usher or a great vocalist, so count yourself blessed, when potential partners give you unknown revelations about themselves, it means you have a choice to continue or not.
The point is, people still cover a lot about themselves, while telling you how awesome they are, just to win your trust, and that you know them in a house of worship, does not mean you know them completely, it’s not always the same person you’ve always known, once it turns into an intimate relationship or marriage. Ask around!
Finally, have it at the back of your mind that, no matter who or where the recommendation is coming from, until you see and know for yourself, you may not know it all.