By Sharon Emephia
Lately, I have been reflecting on how our social and economic circumstances increasingly influence the way we relate to one another. I wonder whether we are gradually losing the beauty of friendships that once blossomed naturally, without first considering people’s financial status, professional achievements, social influence, or what they could offer us.
There was a time when friendships grew through simple conversations, shared experiences, neighbourhood connections, and genuine affection. Today, however, some relationships seem to require a certain level of success or social standing before people feel comfortable associating with one another.
We want to know what people do, who they know, and what value they can add to our lives before deciding whether they deserve a place in our circles.
When did a person’s financial circumstances become a measure of their worth?
Classism does more than influence friendships; it affects belonging, kindness, and opportunity. People who cannot afford certain lifestyles may feel excluded, while talented individuals may miss out on mentorship, recommendations, and opportunities simply because they lack influential connections. In the process, we risk overlooking people with beautiful hearts, remarkable potential, and valuable contributions to make.
Perhaps the saddest part is that we sometimes withhold kindness from people who cannot immediately reciprocate. We forget that life changes, circumstances differ, and the person struggling today may become tomorrow’s success story. More importantly, kindness should not be an investment we make only when we expect returns.
Of course, we all have the right to choose our friends and establish boundaries. Not every difference in social circles is classism. The problem begins when we treat people as inferior because they have less money, occupy less prestigious positions, or lack the connections we desire.
I believe our growth should expand our capacity to connect with people, not make us ashamed of those who are still finding their feet.
Success should make us more compassionate, and influence should inspire us to open doors for others rather than build walls around ourselves.
We can make a difference through simple, intentional actions such as inviting people to gatherings without making expensive spending a condition for participation; recommend deserving individuals for opportunities; share useful information and connections; mentor those who are still growing; patronise small businesses and emerging talents where possible; and treat everyone with equal courtesy, regardless of status.
Sometimes, a sincere conversation, a thoughtful introduction, or an opportunity to showcase someone’s abilities can make a lasting difference.
We must remember that not every valuable relationship will advance our careers, increase our visibility, or connect us to influential people. Some friendships will simply offer a listening ear, celebrate our little victories, or stand beside us when life becomes difficult. Those relationships are valuable, too.
THE MUSINg TO TAKE HOME…
Here is a question worth reflecting on: If the people in your social circle lost their money, titles, influence, and connections tomorrow, who would you still call your friend? Would people who have less than you feel genuinely welcome in your presence?
Let us learn to see people before their status, recognise potential beyond present circumstances, and extend kindness without calculating what we stand to gain. We may not be able to change everyone’s circumstances, but we can ensure that our attitudes and actions do not make their struggles harder.
Ultimately, the true measure of our social standing is not how many influential people welcome us into their circles, but how many people feel seen, valued, and respected in our presence.
May we never become so elevated in status that we lose our ability to connect at the level of our shared humanity.
Think about it.