By Wasilah Ladan, National Secretary, Nigeria Association of Women Journalists(NAWOJ)
Children who experience sexual abuse often cannot speak up directly because of fear, shame, confusion, or threats. As parents, and especially mothers who are usually the first caregivers, your close observation of your child’s mood, movement, and emotions is one of the strongest tools for early detection and protection.
Here’s what to watch for and how to respond:
- Watch for Changes in Mood and Emotions
Sudden shifts in how a child feels and reacts can be a red flag. Pay attention if your child:
- Becomes unusually withdrawn, quiet, or avoids eye contact
- Shows sudden anger, irritability, or aggression over small issues
- Develops anxiety, clinginess, or panic, especially around a specific adult
- Displays fear of going to school, a particular place, or being alone with someone they previously liked
- Experiences frequent nightmares, trouble sleeping, or bedwetting after being dry
These changes don’t automatically mean abuse, but they signal that something is unsettling your child emotionally.
- Observe Changes in Behavior and Movement
Children often express distress through behavior before they can explain it in words. Look out for:
- Sudden loss of interest in school, play, or hobbies they once enjoyed
- Age-inappropriate knowledge or curiosity about sexual matters
- Acting out sexual behavior with toys, siblings, or peers
- Flinching, tensing, or discomfort when touched, even by family members
- Trying to avoid changing clothes, bathing, or medical check-ups
- Spending unusual amounts of time isolated or secretive with an adult
Frequent, calm observation of these patterns helps you notice what’s out of character for your child.
- Notice Physical Signs and Health Changes
While not all abuse leaves physical signs, some do. Check for:
- Unexplained pain, itching, bruising, or bleeding in the genital or anal area
- Difficulty walking or sitting
- Frequent urinary tract infections or stomach complaints with no clear medical cause
- Torn, stained, or bloody underwear
If you notice these, seek medical attention immediately and ensure the examination is done by a qualified health professional.
- Create an Environment Where Your Child Can Talk
Monitoring alone isn’t enough. Children need to feel safe to speak.
- Have regular, low-pressure conversations. Ask open questions like “How was your day? Did anything make you feel uncomfortable?”
- Listen without judgment or panic. Your calm reaction encourages honesty.
- Teach children the correct names for body parts and that no one should touch their private areas except for health or hygiene with permission.
- Let them know it’s okay to say “no” and that they won’t be punished for telling you something upsetting.
- Act Promptly and Seek Help
If you suspect abuse: - Document what you’ve observed with dates and details.
- Seek medical and psychological evaluation for your child.
- Report to the appropriate authoritiesthe police, Ministry of Women Affairs, or child protection agencies. Do not confront the alleged perpetrator directly if it may put the child at risk.
- Get professional counseling for your child and yourself. Healing is possible with the right support.
I will wrap up in my subsequent write up with exclusive advice to Parents.