By Bayo Adeoshun
Yesterday, Friday 3rd November, 2023, the remains of my father was committed to mother earth at a STRICTLY FAMILY event, this was in STRICT COMPLIANCE with his WILL and detailed instructions to me as his Aremo [heir].
It didn’t come as an easy task as it sounded.
Upon his passing on Thursday, 19th October, 2023 and as customs and traditions IMPOSES, His Royal Majesty, the King of my homeland had dispatched the kingmakers to come bring his body for the final burial in his homeland. The etymology of this can be established scripturally where Abraham went as far as establishing that his body will be returned to his nativity, ditto Israel, it even came with Swearing to an Oath of Full Compliance upon his passing.
Up until say five years ago, I could almost use the SWEAR word that my father’s instructions were that he must be returned to his nativity in Oke Ogun, that will however change exactly June of 2022, when during 2 separate family gatherings, he unanimously communicated his WILL to be buried beside his wife, my step-mother who passed in 2020. So, every of his children except those abroad who weren’t present at the meeting were the ones who could claim ignorance of such directive.
Fast forward to 2023, the song that my dad has been rendering at an all-time highest pitch was the celebration of his 80th birthday due in April 2024, and it was exactly what we were all preparing for. Infact, along that line l had started building contents culled from various stakeholders, l plan that it will be his memoir and very enriching.
But, alas. I got a devastating news by 7:34pm on that fateful Thursday of 19th October, 2023 notifying me of his passing. Details will be shared in a follow-up piece. It shattered me.
Then, began the pressure and process of his final burial rites.
The first hurdle was how to manage the delicate complexity of his final burial place. It wasn’t going to come easy but I was banking on divine wisdom to pull this through and it worked. I simply held the Bible aloft, calling the other seven witnesses to the family meeting where he communicated his last wish regarding his final resting place and since there was no dissenting voice, battle No. 1 was won, putting an end to the contentions about his final resting place.
The second challenge was how to ensure that we dutifully comply with his instruction of an immediate burial, at least, commital of his body to mother earth within a specified timframe. Tough. But, we also succeeded in getting that done exactly 2 weeks after his passing by putting together a modestly befitting burial for him.
It’s in this regard that one will acknowledge the place of dutifully planning, the place of “who’s your guy and support systems?” There will be friends and there will be friends. Even family ties are getting redefined beyond those of the bloodlines as we used to know them and thank goodness that the Bible already affirmed that, that there are friends that are closer than a brother. I have always admired the standard l read in the Bible about David and Jonathan, that was a classic, I must say.
Like the closing shots after the credits of those Nollywood movies will read “To God be the glory”. I am fulfilled and happy that he not only well lived, he lived well and departed in a blaze of glory making his own marks touching lives especially the communities of his last abode as a sojourner on this side of eternity. I hope to expatiate on this in the sometime of tomorrow.
Now, to the parts that began to rattle my humanity. Deeply philosophical too.
I got talking with a father figure and an authority during the week, a retired Naval officer and truly gentleman who had an illustrious professional career capping it with the Commandant of the National War College in Abuja. This was after being the Commandant of the illustrious institution in Jaji and only missing out from ending up as the Chief of Naval Staff simply because that’s a political appointment not based on professionalism.
During our conversation, he’s expressed missed feelings about the reality of the hangman’s nooze especially with three of his colleagues being reported dead during the same week. Typical, of his both spiritual and philosophical perspectives, “lku to npa ojugba eni, owe lo npa fun ni”. A corrupted interpretation can be conjured to mean, the death that’s killing one’s age mates is simply giving some pointers”.
Trust me, l went “speeretual” assuring him that he’s going nowhere anytime soon. Infact, not even in another twenty years from now. We capped it with a mutual agreement that he should stay away from the final burial rites of my dad and his kinsman because of the stress that I don’t want him to go through due to the deplorable state of the road infrastructure along that part of Ogun State.
Fast forward to this evening, l gleaned on the post from a friend about the passing of a colleague, Gbenga Adegbola in one of my employments, and it was such a shocking and disturbing news even as I am trying to unravel further details.
Irrevocably, 2023 has been indeed a year of something that I will simply describe as the year of the anomie of deaths, and I mean of wicked snatching of some of the closest and valuable loved ones in my life. First, it was Abimbola – my Bestie on April 28, transiting just like that without any sign, not even health related pointers. Then, my spiritual father, Pastor Taiwo Odukoya and while I was still trying to adjust to the reality of that, little did I know that the hangman’s noose had my biological father as his next prey. What we were enthusiastically preparing for was his 80th milestone birthday, not anything near to the contrary.
Friends, these are interesting times.
May the good LORD continue to strengthen everyone who has lost loved ones and grant the souls of the departed the rest needed in the hereafter.
Above all else, may we also be circumspect to do our best regarding stuffs that we can control ie lifestyle etc.
Peace