By Sharon Emephia
Losing a loved one is one of the hardest blows to take along life’s journey.
I personally had endured loses of some relatives and friends while growing up, but none had prepared me for the passing of my younger sister, right in my presence, on November 7th, 2015. In fact, I didn’t know I could carry on with life after that season.
I also know a couple of close friends that had lost loved ones, and I’d go over and condole with them and pay visits to them severally. I thought I actually knew how they were feeling, but I realized at the passing of my younger sister, that was when I actually began to understand the pain that cuts the heart when people lose their loved ones.
Most recently, in the past one week, I’ve had to deal with the loss of three friends I’d known for upwards of 10-15 years. To say I’ve been heartbroken is for the want of a better word, and how I’ve been able to carry on with work and other compulsory previously assigned responsibilities still remains a puzzle to me, for which I’m extremely thankful to God.
In the past few days, there’s also be loses around, here and there, that have to do with others, and that’s the crux of my writing today.
Having a biblical understanding of life’s happenings, especially in times of grief cannot be over-emphasized. Accepting the inevitability of death, cessation of physical life, shedding of the ‘earth suit’, (the physical body), which, biblically stated is meant to be at an old age, makes you die upfront; so you can maximize your life, knowing that you do not have absolute control over it as it were, by taking the following steps:
- Take each day as it comes
- When you wake up each day, appreciate that you are still around on the earth, on this side of heaven.
- Make out time to worship God, because life is truly spiritual. The spiritual realm controls the physical realm of life.
- Maximize the day. Invest into other people’s lives, that is the greatest investment you can make in life
- Devote some time to rest
- Devote some time to play
- Leverage on the various opportunities to have the best out of your life
- Create and document beautiful memories with your loved ones in video recordings, still photographs, etc
- Occupy your moments with LIFE, Not Death. The time may have gone but the moments can be recaptured. You can recreate the moments.
- Let’s face life with courage and get the best out of the moments, the days, the months, the years and the decades.
- Do not respond naturally to the circumstances around you, but respond supernaturally, according to God’s word, because your thoughts create your mood.
Phillipians 4:8
“Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things”.
These are the only things God permits us to think about. I do know how difficult it could get, taking your mind off thoughts of your loved one that has passed on, BUT it’s something you have to consciously do. Fill your heart with God’s word and God’s eternal promises to you, irrespective of what has happened, God is still not a man for Him to lie, neither is He the son of man for Him to repent. God is ever faithful to His eternal promises, to all who trust Him as their father, their Lord and personal saviour.
When you are bereaved, hurting deeply, there’s a wound in your heart that only God can heal. That is one reason you must keep your heart and mind stayed on God’s word, by listening to uplifting messages, music, and also by studying the word of God in the Bible or other inspirational and uplifting books and resource materials.
‘To all who mourn in Israel He will give Beauty for Ashes, Joy instead of mourning; Praise instead of heaviness. For God has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for His own glory”
Isaiah 61:3 (TLB)
As you grieve and mourn the passing of your loved one, know that God gives you beauty for ashes, but you have to be willing to let go of the ashes, to receive the beauty God is giving and allow it work in your life. You have to be willing to brace up, receive the comfort and strength of the Holy Spirit, and be determined to move away from the arena of feelings and emotions, to the arena of knowledge; living your life and deciding to live past your emotions and intentionally start living by what God’s word says, about what man’s experience is, once man’s time on this earthly realm is over.
As children of God, the joy of the Lord is our strength. Having our hope at a high level is going to be very helpful in going through challenging times. Knowing we have been made to be at peace with God through Christ. Everything has a divine instruction from God, to work out together for the good of those who genuinely love the Lord.
There’s a reason for everything that God allows to happen because God is a God of purpose. There is a purpose for the pain.
Be strong, receive supernatural strength and fortitude. Be continually comforted by God’s Spirit. You will smile again.